Are you trying to live for Jesus but you find yourself doing things that belong to your old life?
You can choose to become a Christian, but it takes God's work in your heart to become a new creation in Christ.
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:1,2
If you feel stuck in sin and completely far from the person you think God wants you to be, have hope! As you spend time with God and surrender your life to Him, He is able to work on your heart and mind and make you new!